Almost isn't enough

I sometimes sit and contemplate what my life might or should be like. I've had so many dreams over the years about things I've wanted to do. I don't know what it is about me. I'll get the itch to do something and then get freaked out that I'll fail and make a fool out of myself so I just won't do it. I wish I had 'Beyonce's guts and motivation for example. I'd have gotten a lot done by now. I might even be a millionaire ! HA! 

1) The first career choice I had was to be a librarian. This is going way back to when I was little. I loved to read and fell for the idea of having complete access to every book imaginable. Now, although I still enjoy reading don't have too much time for it, and when I do it tends to put me to sleep. HA!

2) Be a paleontologist/archeologist. I LOVED dinosaurs and anything to do with ancient Egypt. I dreamed about digging up dino bones or for ancient artifacts. Travelling around the globe was of course a huge plus. But that would have entailed going to college which will come up later in the list.

3) Being a singer. I know this is going to sound conceited. But I can sing. And being a singer was kind of always on my mind. I even recorded a song with a DJ company that I wrote. It never did anything because it was a DJ/club song and nothing more.

4) Moving to Florida and becoming an artist for Disney. I can also draw and I was seriously into Disney movies. So put 2 and 2 together.

5) Ironically, around the same time I dreamed about working for such a wholesome company such as Disney I briefly thought about becoming a stripper. I figured that would make me a whole lot of money which could pretty much buy me whatever I wanted. And I have always thought of myself as very self sufficient, resilient and independent. So this would have fit perfectly in my life at the time.

6) Being a Broadway performer. I remembered many times when living in NJ in my early 20's just a hair past my peak physical shape getting copies of the village voice and wanting to try out for a dance act of some sort. I have always been very good at paying attention to others abilities I loved. I was able to learn from that very quickly. Figure skating, roller figure skating. I thought I might do that and be able to live in the awesome metropolis that is NYC.

7) Pampered Chef. Yeah. I went and convinced Shawn that it was a great idea and a great opportunity to make money from home. So we spent the money to buy the kit which wasn't cheap and I realized it wasn't an independent venture. I would still have to answer to someone and realized very soon that I didn't know enough people to build any kind of following. I also get intimidated by the knowledge that so many other people are either doing the same thing or just different versions of the same thing.

Yeah.....I'm an over achiever I tell ya. HA!