So yesterday was my 37th birthday. And although I'm not 'old' per se' (unless you talk to a teenager), I'm not 'spring chicken-ish' anymore. So I figured I'd share 5 major things I've learned in my 37 years on this earth. I'm not a pro at this Life thing by any stretch. But Louis C.K. said it best. He said older people are smarter. If you are in an argument with someone and they're older, you should listen to them. It doesn't mean they're right, it just means their life is rooted in more information than you have.
The point here is, if I can share my so called wisdom and it helps someone on their journey, then at least I feel like I did something. So...here goes.
1) Nothing is ever as it appears :
After I had my 3rd baby, my sweet boy Patrick, I had a nervous breakdown. I have Bipolar 2 disorder so it was inevitable as I was not medicated throughout my entire pregnancy. I was not educated enough about my disease as it was a fairly new diagnosis and I thought I had my plan down as to how I would handle things. Boy was I in for a reality check. Through it though as with any severe trauma we go through in life, it's a class. And I was the pupil. I connected with people I might have judged pre baby thanks to stigma. Imagine a person with a mental illness exhibiting stigma! As if! The thing is, it's really easy to forget what shit is until you step in it right? So the lesson here is, regardless of what people look like, smell like(hopefully not too rank), act like....we all have our struggles. Never judge someone. Anyone. Because you never know what they are feeling, thinking, going through. You could be passing up a best friend for all you know! That smile you just gave that man in the grocery store could even pull him from the ledge.
2) Needing a break is OK and does not a bad person make you:
So I have a mental illness. We've established this. But even if I didn't, I would say that if you can get a break away from your life, job, kids even for 5 minutes, take it. It's not a crime to need to get away and be alone to hear your own thoughts. I wrote an entire blog about this. We all need to stop and smell the flowers. And it will be in those moments of gathering yourself together and breathing, that you can clear your mind and get back to remembering who you are. Which creates stability, strength, and understanding. It will only make you a better person. So breathe on warrior, while you sip that cocktail. Or coffee or tea or whatever the hell you drink. But in silence.
3) If you have something to say, just say it ! :
I've seen a lot of people go through life never telling the truth. Including myself. Before you get all bent out of shape, I don't mean lying. Although I think everyone has had their moments. What I mean is, not expressing to someone such as your friend, family member, co-worker how you really feel. Or what you really think. Whether it be about some inappropriate behavior, how the person was a bit of a bossy ass, or maybe how they might have treated you in a particular situation. Think about it this way. Would you want someone to be honest, with the possibility that it may hurt you, in the meantime teaching you about people or yourself? Or have a relationship where you never really scratch through the surface? Seems like the latter is a bit of a waste of time. I know some of you may be resistant to confrontation. But is it really that? Or are you just afraid to be alone? Hmmm......things to think about.
4) Change is inevitable, just accept it :
Boy oh boy, life sure would be a dream if that were true right? I have met so many people who refuse to accept change. Look around. How many people did you see just this morning with the same hair do they wore back in 1975? Probably more than you care to admit. Here's the deal. Our life is a school. We are here to learn, end of story. How are we to do that when we refuse to move out of our comfort zone? When we refuse to crack away the glue (or cement for some) that we have laid down around ourselves? The majority of those people that cling so hard to the past are the same ones who feel 'stuck' in their life. There's a reason. Because they are. The only way to get past it is to have the courage to accept that regardless of what happens to you, everything changes. Hairstyles, society, people, nature, life, hell, the planet ! On a daily basis ! So instead of leaving yourself behind, get that pick ax out and start hacking away at that cement. Come on out and join us on this beautiful journey and take a shot at being happy. Who knows what might happen.
5) You are much stronger than you think :
I saved the best for last. Lets look at the human body. What happens when you get a cut? Your skin opens, your body immediately goes into 'war' mode. This is a quote straight from WebMD.
* When your tissue is damaged, a chemical gets released into your bloodstream, and it acts as a distress call to start the process. Cells called platelets rush to the scene.
Rough edges of the blood vessel wall help them stick together and form a plug, filling in small tears and sending out more chemical triggers. Then proteins called "clotting factors" finish the job, trapping blood cells in a mesh-like net.
Wow! How awesome is the human body that on a cellular level, it knows exactly what to do to fix itself?!. Does that work for everything in the body? No. But what is does show us is that we are meant to fight. Our evolution has brought us to a place where although we as humans don't always make the best choices, we still, somehow always find a way to survive. And you can too. It's not easy, I know. Not even close. But you can do it! The fact that you are sitting here reading this means that you made it through to another day! Kudos! Give yourself a pat on the back and keep up the good work! Just remember, regardless of your struggles, you are NOT, nor are you ever alone. And despite what you may think, there will always be more. More courage, more love, more strength deep inside of you. Even if you can't see it sometimes. So get your ass up and get on !.....with love of course.
I hope this was inspirational. And I hope that you are your best self today. Because I am my best self today. And if I can do it, so can you !
Namaste' _/|\_
-V
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